Thursday, October 4, 2012

The best of me

This morning I finished reading 1 Thessalonians amidst my boys running around like hooligans.  :)
At the end of the chapter, in Paul's last instructions, he says...
"Live in peace with each other.  And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.  Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.  Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  

(italics added by me)

In reading this, I was interrupted at least three times by my babe putting something in his mouth he shouldn't and my 2 year old telling me all about the Lego bird he was building.  I really need to get back to my quiet time before my boys wake up.  But that's a blog post for another day.

Anyway, I'm reading along, thinking...yep, I'm pretty good at those.  Yeah, I mean I have stuff to work on but I really try.
And I look at my two year old needing my attention and my baby wanting to be held.  

And I heard my husband's voice from a few nights ago, "Just give me a little bit of grace, L.  Just a little bit of grace.  I cannot do everything."

And I heard my six year old, "Mama, can you please please please play school with me?"  And me tell her, "No I can't.  I'm cooking dinner!"  

And I heard my two year old having a major meltdown last night in front of all my husband's coworkers and me picking him up, embarrassed, and carrying him quickly to the car. 

"Uhhh God, you don't mean my family in this right?  Cause God you know I'm doing the best I can.  But I can't do it all!"

"Always try to be kind to each other..."  
"Live in peace with each other..."
"Give thanks in all circumstances"

"I'm doing the best I can!!"
This is my classic response.  But is it true?  

So often I let others get the best of me, and my family (the ones I love the most) get the worst.  
It's hard...I argue in my head that they get the best AND worst of me because they get the most of me too.  
But that doesn't make it right.

"O Lord, I call to you; come quickly to me.  Hear my voice when I call to you...Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door to my lips."  Psalm 141

"Change my heart, O God, make it ever true.  Change my heart O God, may I be like You."

I want my God to get the best of me (lots to work on there too).
I want my family to get the second best.  God has put me here to be their mom and his wife and I want to serve Him and serve them.  Joyfully.  :)

Join me in counting 1000 Gifts this year...I just recently started, but am determined to count 1000 by the end of the year!
91.  T saying, "Mama, give Cole a kiss?  Pease pease?"
92.  My baby boy learning to give love pats.
93.  Good laughs with E last night over our crazy kiddos
94.  Getting to visit with some of E's coworkers last night at his work picnic.  Those don't happen often!
95.  Talking about our dreams for our future last night...yep we have three kids and are settled, but we still have big dreams!
96.  Second chances...and thirds...and fourths!
97.  Hearing my student play a sonata she's been working on for quite a while...prepping for a college audition.  She blew me away.
98.  A good night's sleep.  Mr. Cole, you are getting back to sleeping well again.  :)

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