Monday, October 22, 2012

No more Mommy Wars!

Mom.  I think it's my favorite title ever.  I love being called Mom.  And I will say openly, it is absolutely the best job I've ever had, one I believe I was born to do.  But I gotta tell you, this Mom stuff, it's not easy, it's not for the weak or the faint of heart!   It's without a doubt the hardest job I've ever had.
That's why I get so frustrated when I find myself playing the Mommy Wars game.  It starts innocently enough, talking about diapering or staying at home or breast feeding or making your own baby food or whether to let your baby cry it out or homeschooling...and everyone has an opinion, and it's usually different.

I love to hear everyone's opinion, but so quickly it can turn into a "well my way is better than yours".  Here's a secret I've learned:  Everyone thinks their way is best.  That's why they are doing it.  :) Yet sometimes I still find myself wanting to participate in these back and forth discussions that really aren't building anyone up.  They are tearing, tearing down and hurting hearts and there are so many more important things to unite us.  I get that some of these issues are really important, and to be honest, some are very important to me too.  But they aren't worth hurting others over.  

Why can't we as moms build each other up?  Why can't we have friendships and relationships that are real instead of trying to convince others (or ourselves) that our way is the best way?

I believe this is the reason...At the heart of it, we are all insecure about if our way is really best.  We think it probably is.  But motherhood is the most important job we have and we are so invested in it... doubt creeps in. 
And I believe that insecurity, that doubt is what makes us great moms.  

The fact that we question our decisions, that we absolutely want to make the right choice for our kids...that's what makes us great moms.  But when we waste our time comparing and get caught up in why someone else's decision is wrong...that's where we run into trouble. 
We're all trying to raise our kids the very best way we can and that's no easy task. Every child is different and has different needs, just as every Mom is different.  No method is perfect and right for every person.  Except for One.  :)
I couldn't do it without God. I think we all could do it better without Mommy Wars!  Let's surrender!

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