I started reading The Reading Promise a few months ago. I liked the idea of the book...the premise is this dad and daughter read aloud together every night for years...I think they ended up with EIGHTEEN years or something like that. While I fully agree that reading to our children is crucial and read to my children pretty much every night, I decided to use that idea to make a "promise" for something that is more important in my eyes.
I've also been reading A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh Demoss. I highly recommend this book. It has challenged my thinking on my quiet times like never before. I want to blog more about this soon but for the sake of this blog post, I want to focus on this "promise" I made to my daughter. Demoss really emphasizes the need to have your quiet time be first thing in the morning. I had always thought that it didn't really matter when you did it during your day (and still feel that SOMETIME is better than no time!), but truly now think that beginning my day alone with God is the best time to do it.
When my five year old started school, I decided to implement this idea very simply with her in something I called The Prayer Promise. The idea is that we will pray for her day every morning before school. Very simple, many people do this I realize...but just trying to hold myself accountable to doing that AND establish a pattern for her of beginning her day with prayer. Now I use promise very loosely because I know that there will be days I will forget (I have already forgotten once).
These are some things I hope she will gain from this:
A daily pattern of beginning her day with prayer
A habit of praying for her teachers and friends
Allowing God to be in control of her day
A greater love of the Lord and communication with Him
These are some things I hope I will gain from this:
A daily pattern of praying for her day and my son's day
Remembering to pray for her teachers and friends
Encourage an open relationship with my daughter where she can express her worries and concerns
So...so far, so good. :) She seems ready and eager to pray each morning. I hope we can keep it up.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wow, it's been awhile!
It's been quite a while since I wrote on this blog...
Today my oldest started school. The past couple of days as we have prepared for Kindergarten, I have had many thoughts going through my head. There are two that I struggle with. The first is wondering if she will be treasured. Will they see the precious little girl that I see? Will they love her like I love her? Will they value her insights and opinions? And let's be honest...doesn't every parent wonder and worry over this? Some more than others, of course. I don't want to be one of those extreme cases...the hovering mom, the one that the teachers roll their eyes at. But I also can sympathize with all of those "annoying" parents. That's how I feel too! I believe a good teacher treasures each child...loves them for who they are. However I know (because I've been there!) that it's awfully hard to do that when class sizes are big, time is scarce, and pressures abound.
The second is I don't want her to lose her innocence. I realize that as kids grow up, it is a blessing when they are exposed to different backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs. But when that happens too fast, it can have devastating results. I want to be the one to *explain* some things to her and there are definitely things that I will be fine with her learning about in third grade, but not Kindergarten. I don't want her to have to learn hard lessons...but I know that's part of growing up. There are also little things I don't want her to lose. The way she says some words that is just so HER but not necessarily the right way to say them, the way she makes up her own words sometimes, the way she lives in pretend world 90 percent of the time. I know those things will probably change this year too. But I hope they don't go away completely.
Letting go is hard. But I don't know how I'd do it if I didn't have the security of knowing that God is with her. Because while I do "let her go" and she stays in Kindergarten without me, I know she's not staying there alone. I've told her at any time during the day if she is scared or lonely, she knows God is with her and she can say a prayer. And I know that I can give her the best thing I can give her by praying for her.
So...if you are reading as one of those moms (or dads) that is "letting go" some this season...you aren't alone! There are lots of us having to let go. And there is One that never lets go...
Today my oldest started school. The past couple of days as we have prepared for Kindergarten, I have had many thoughts going through my head. There are two that I struggle with. The first is wondering if she will be treasured. Will they see the precious little girl that I see? Will they love her like I love her? Will they value her insights and opinions? And let's be honest...doesn't every parent wonder and worry over this? Some more than others, of course. I don't want to be one of those extreme cases...the hovering mom, the one that the teachers roll their eyes at. But I also can sympathize with all of those "annoying" parents. That's how I feel too! I believe a good teacher treasures each child...loves them for who they are. However I know (because I've been there!) that it's awfully hard to do that when class sizes are big, time is scarce, and pressures abound.
The second is I don't want her to lose her innocence. I realize that as kids grow up, it is a blessing when they are exposed to different backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs. But when that happens too fast, it can have devastating results. I want to be the one to *explain* some things to her and there are definitely things that I will be fine with her learning about in third grade, but not Kindergarten. I don't want her to have to learn hard lessons...but I know that's part of growing up. There are also little things I don't want her to lose. The way she says some words that is just so HER but not necessarily the right way to say them, the way she makes up her own words sometimes, the way she lives in pretend world 90 percent of the time. I know those things will probably change this year too. But I hope they don't go away completely.
Letting go is hard. But I don't know how I'd do it if I didn't have the security of knowing that God is with her. Because while I do "let her go" and she stays in Kindergarten without me, I know she's not staying there alone. I've told her at any time during the day if she is scared or lonely, she knows God is with her and she can say a prayer. And I know that I can give her the best thing I can give her by praying for her.
So...if you are reading as one of those moms (or dads) that is "letting go" some this season...you aren't alone! There are lots of us having to let go. And there is One that never lets go...
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Resurrection
My five year old has been using these Resurrection eggs to learn about/tell the story of the events leading up to the cross and then the cross itself.
Now that she's five and really into the story, we find ourselves giving her more information than previous years.
For example, our daughter wanted to know really what it meant that Jesus was whipped and beaten. She wanted to know if there was blood from the crown of thorns. She wondered how Jesus could carry the cross after He had been hurt so badly.
There are some stories/topics in the Bible that I feel like I have to wait to introduce her to. But this year, we are going deeper in the story of the crucifixion. It's important for all of us to know some of these details (even though we will never fully know Jesus' suffering) so that we can grasp as much as we can what He did for us.
That being said, there is a certain amount of age appropriate shielding I still do and feel is important, even from things that are in the Bible.
You could definitely make these eggs or a similiar project (a resurrection tree is a project we've started...I hope we finish!) that would serve the same purpose...I love to hear different ideas people do with their kids to communicate Bible truths. We got a really cool Resurrection cookie recipe at Bible Study last week. Anyone have other ideas they use this time of year that you'd like to share?
For example, our daughter wanted to know really what it meant that Jesus was whipped and beaten. She wanted to know if there was blood from the crown of thorns. She wondered how Jesus could carry the cross after He had been hurt so badly.
There are some stories/topics in the Bible that I feel like I have to wait to introduce her to. But this year, we are going deeper in the story of the crucifixion. It's important for all of us to know some of these details (even though we will never fully know Jesus' suffering) so that we can grasp as much as we can what He did for us.
That being said, there is a certain amount of age appropriate shielding I still do and feel is important, even from things that are in the Bible.
You could definitely make these eggs or a similiar project (a resurrection tree is a project we've started...I hope we finish!) that would serve the same purpose...I love to hear different ideas people do with their kids to communicate Bible truths. We got a really cool Resurrection cookie recipe at Bible Study last week. Anyone have other ideas they use this time of year that you'd like to share?
Thursday, March 31, 2011
It's been awhile!
Okay after thinking about this post, I'm gonna rephrase some stuff because I think it sounded a little harsher than I intended...Now it probably just sounds like rambling but at least I put my thoughts down!
Probably everyone has given up on reading this blog now! I was a faithful updater for a few weeks at least. :) Actually we had some life stuff happened and I needed to wrap my head around a lot of it before I felt like blogging again. That's actually closely related to my topic for today.
Technology today with Facebook, blogs, Twitter, instant messaging (do people still do that?) reveals much about a person, perhaps too much. I am all for Facebooking...I love it. It helps me stay connected to my far away family and friends. It helps me make plans to meet up with friends! It helps me take a stand for my God. But there are some downfalls to Facebook and other social sites.
Of course there are some safety scares that I'm not going to deal with in this post. But those are definitely something to be aware of.
But there is also something about revealing personal things that cheapens real relationships and true feelings. And you can't ever see a person's face or hear their voice on Facebook when they are *talking* about these personal feelings to know how serious they are or how heavy this weighing on them.
I am not trying to step on any toes, but I know I personally need to really consider the kind of stuff I am allowing people to be part of by posting on Facebook. If I wouldn't tell people I casually have a sort of friendship with or knew in high school or our kids met and played together on an airplane ride once the info that I am posting, then in my opinion, I shouldn't be posting it. Because let's face it...that's what many of our "friends" are on Facebook. Casual acquaintences, people we "sort of" know or met. At least mine are.
I face a true dilemma in wanting to be honest and revealing too much as I know many of you do too. I do know a few things...
*I cannot stand the bullying that goes on with high school kids/middle school kids on social networking sites.
*I never want my daughter to be asked out on a date on Facebook. :) I say that makes it WAYYY too easy on the boy!
*I don't like my kids being in pictures of people I don't know because then their pics go to other people I don't know, etc.
*I cringe when I read about real things people are going through on Facebook. My honest thought is that these people are crying out for attention. But it's hard to tell again, cause you can't hear tone, etc. And sometimes I get really really worried when I see a status update that is very vague but scary like an obvious cry for help.
*I don't want to find out big news about people I'm close to on Facebook. I feel like that makes the relationship seem less significant. Again, this is just my preference.
*I don't want computer time to ever take away from family time or my time with God.
*I think Facebook CAN be used to request prayers and certainly I pray for things that I wouldn't have known to pray for through Facebook.
*I think people should be very careful about revealing things about other people on Facebook. When someone has news to tell and you tell it on Facebook, that is the same as telling all their friends and family before they get to. I have seen that happen and it's sad! People should be able to announce their own exciting news (engagements, births, pregnancies, names of children, etc.) and decide for themselves what they want to reveal for all to see.
*There are some things that I flat out feel are too personal for my Facebook/blogs. Others may choose to put personal info on their blogs. But there are some things that in protection for my family I choose not to talk about.
What about you? How do you feel about social networking sites and revealing too much about your family? Do you think it matters? Again, these are just my off the top of my head thoughts, and I changed some of the wordings because they did sound a little harsh and in a couple places conveyed something different from what my actual thought was.
What about protections for your kids? How do protect them from the *stuff* you don't like on Facebook?
In the end OF COURSE, it's a personal decision you make for yourself and for your own family. And not one we should judge others for...of course I just admitted I do make judgements when I shouldn't as I think others do too. It's hard not to when status updates are intended for other people to read but yet not read TOO much into. :) I think that's my real point, that we are raising a generation that is more "exposed" than ever before and how/should we protect them from that?
Probably everyone has given up on reading this blog now! I was a faithful updater for a few weeks at least. :) Actually we had some life stuff happened and I needed to wrap my head around a lot of it before I felt like blogging again. That's actually closely related to my topic for today.
Technology today with Facebook, blogs, Twitter, instant messaging (do people still do that?) reveals much about a person, perhaps too much. I am all for Facebooking...I love it. It helps me stay connected to my far away family and friends. It helps me make plans to meet up with friends! It helps me take a stand for my God. But there are some downfalls to Facebook and other social sites.
Of course there are some safety scares that I'm not going to deal with in this post. But those are definitely something to be aware of.
But there is also something about revealing personal things that cheapens real relationships and true feelings. And you can't ever see a person's face or hear their voice on Facebook when they are *talking* about these personal feelings to know how serious they are or how heavy this weighing on them.
I am not trying to step on any toes, but I know I personally need to really consider the kind of stuff I am allowing people to be part of by posting on Facebook. If I wouldn't tell people I casually have a sort of friendship with or knew in high school or our kids met and played together on an airplane ride once the info that I am posting, then in my opinion, I shouldn't be posting it. Because let's face it...that's what many of our "friends" are on Facebook. Casual acquaintences, people we "sort of" know or met. At least mine are.
I face a true dilemma in wanting to be honest and revealing too much as I know many of you do too. I do know a few things...
*I cannot stand the bullying that goes on with high school kids/middle school kids on social networking sites.
*I never want my daughter to be asked out on a date on Facebook. :) I say that makes it WAYYY too easy on the boy!
*I don't like my kids being in pictures of people I don't know because then their pics go to other people I don't know, etc.
*I cringe when I read about real things people are going through on Facebook. My honest thought is that these people are crying out for attention. But it's hard to tell again, cause you can't hear tone, etc. And sometimes I get really really worried when I see a status update that is very vague but scary like an obvious cry for help.
*I don't want to find out big news about people I'm close to on Facebook. I feel like that makes the relationship seem less significant. Again, this is just my preference.
*I don't want computer time to ever take away from family time or my time with God.
*I think Facebook CAN be used to request prayers and certainly I pray for things that I wouldn't have known to pray for through Facebook.
*I think people should be very careful about revealing things about other people on Facebook. When someone has news to tell and you tell it on Facebook, that is the same as telling all their friends and family before they get to. I have seen that happen and it's sad! People should be able to announce their own exciting news (engagements, births, pregnancies, names of children, etc.) and decide for themselves what they want to reveal for all to see.
*There are some things that I flat out feel are too personal for my Facebook/blogs. Others may choose to put personal info on their blogs. But there are some things that in protection for my family I choose not to talk about.
What about you? How do you feel about social networking sites and revealing too much about your family? Do you think it matters? Again, these are just my off the top of my head thoughts, and I changed some of the wordings because they did sound a little harsh and in a couple places conveyed something different from what my actual thought was.
What about protections for your kids? How do protect them from the *stuff* you don't like on Facebook?
In the end OF COURSE, it's a personal decision you make for yourself and for your own family. And not one we should judge others for...of course I just admitted I do make judgements when I shouldn't as I think others do too. It's hard not to when status updates are intended for other people to read but yet not read TOO much into. :) I think that's my real point, that we are raising a generation that is more "exposed" than ever before and how/should we protect them from that?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Song...
I love this song by Laura Story.
"What if my greatest disappointments or the achings of this life
Are the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?"
I know there are readers out there (some of my dear friends) that have some great disappointments and some real achings of this life. I hope this song brings you comfort today!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ
"What if my greatest disappointments or the achings of this life
Are the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?"
I know there are readers out there (some of my dear friends) that have some great disappointments and some real achings of this life. I hope this song brings you comfort today!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ
Friday, February 18, 2011
Let it be me instead...
Last night was the sickest I have ever seen my almost 5 year old daughter. At the time, I just thought she had a really bad case of strep. She was diagnosed yesterday afternoon, but during the night was just miserable. She threw up a total of twenty one times. She developed a rash on her body that itched her like crazy. In fact she spent over an hour of last night in a baking soda bath, because that was the only way she could keep from scratching. She scratched so hard she has bleeding sores now. About 3 a.m. we knew something more was going on; we just didn't know what. We almost went to the emergency room, but ended up calling the after hours hotline and holding out until this morning. We didn't sleep at all.
Now we know that she had an allergic reaction to amoxicillin which she was given yesterday afternoon for strep. She is a much different girl tonight, and my husband and I are thanking God for that.
During the wee hours of the night, I found myself praying and thinking, "I just wish it could be me instead." I'm sure every parent has this thought. It is torture to watch your child in pain or sick.
Thinking about this today, I feel comforted and so loved to know that this is how our Lord feels when He watches us in pain. I think my God was feeling that watching my daughter suffer last night. I also think He feels that way whenever He watches us as adults go through hardships in life. The Bible tells us that God is near to the brokenhearted. What a blessing it is to know that even though our pain is sometimes caused by choices we make (and sometimes it isn't), God doesn't like for us to experience pain. And God is so present during those painful times.
I also went on to think...this is also how God felt when He watched Jesus tortured. I cannot imagine the pain of the Father watching His Son endure all that Jesus had to endure. He knew it was for the good of all of us, He knew this was the plan for salvation...but I wonder if He wanted to say, "STOP! Let me do it instead..." There is this Nichole Nordeman song that I love that describes what God may have been thinking during Jesus' torture before and during the cross.
Now we know that she had an allergic reaction to amoxicillin which she was given yesterday afternoon for strep. She is a much different girl tonight, and my husband and I are thanking God for that.
During the wee hours of the night, I found myself praying and thinking, "I just wish it could be me instead." I'm sure every parent has this thought. It is torture to watch your child in pain or sick.
Thinking about this today, I feel comforted and so loved to know that this is how our Lord feels when He watches us in pain. I think my God was feeling that watching my daughter suffer last night. I also think He feels that way whenever He watches us as adults go through hardships in life. The Bible tells us that God is near to the brokenhearted. What a blessing it is to know that even though our pain is sometimes caused by choices we make (and sometimes it isn't), God doesn't like for us to experience pain. And God is so present during those painful times.
I also went on to think...this is also how God felt when He watched Jesus tortured. I cannot imagine the pain of the Father watching His Son endure all that Jesus had to endure. He knew it was for the good of all of us, He knew this was the plan for salvation...but I wonder if He wanted to say, "STOP! Let me do it instead..." There is this Nichole Nordeman song that I love that describes what God may have been thinking during Jesus' torture before and during the cross.
"My Precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming...
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know.
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why...
She is why You must die"
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming...
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know.
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why...
She is why You must die"
The child in that song...that's you. That's me. The hurt we feel for our kids...that's the hurt the Father feels for you. The hurt He felt for His own Son as He watched Jesus endure the cross. Unlike you and me, He COULD have stopped the whole thing. Another old song I love reminds us..."He could have called ten thousand angels..." And He could have. But He CHOSE to have Jesus endure that pain. The pain that you and I feel just a shadow of when we watch our own kids go through it. He chose it for us.
If that's isn't love, I don't know what is.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Remorse
When your child makes a mistake, is he/she sad because of the choice made or the consequence given?
My four year old most of the time seems saddest by the consequence, and this really bothers me. I was a very sensitive natured child. I had lots of empathy and compassion for others. My child has a personality quite different than mine was...she has strong opinions, is a leader, and is big plotter of her grand ideas. :) While she has a big heart, I feel like her regret after making a wrong choice is more for the consequence than the behavior, and I'm at a loss for how to stop this!
I think there has to be consequences for bad behavior, however when it becomes all about the consequences (or rewards), we have problems.
Tonight my darling girl said something quite rude to me. I told her it hurt my feelings. She said she was sorry but didn't seem bothered by it. Now since we have been working on this, I decided to take it a little further...I asked how she would feel if I said that to her. She explained I would NEVER say that to her and it was against the rules cause I am the mommy. I went on and told her it was against our family rules too. I went the route of "Do you think God would be pleased with the words you said to me? Was that honoring your mom?" She said no. None of this really got to her, so finally I said, "Honey, I know that you are sorry, but sometimes we can't take back hurtful words. That really hurt me and I don't really like to be around someone who hurts my feelings. So I think tonight you need to read to yourself instead of me reading, and I want you to think about your words carefully." Then the world was over and her heart was breaking. "MOMMY I am SO sorry!"
Perhaps this route was a little harsh, but I feel that we are at a real breaking point here of needing more compassion and empathy. I didn't read to her and she was a sad little girl. She wrote in her journal that she did not mean what she said and that she was sorry she said that to her mommy because she loves me. I feel like that was true remorse, but not sure if it happened because of the consequence or true regret. In any case, I think it was a step in the right direction. And don't worry, I reassured her that I forgive her and that I love her, but also told her again that our words can really hurt people. And that though we can be sorry and be forgiven, we can't take back those words.
What about you? How do you encourage true remorse in your child?
My four year old most of the time seems saddest by the consequence, and this really bothers me. I was a very sensitive natured child. I had lots of empathy and compassion for others. My child has a personality quite different than mine was...she has strong opinions, is a leader, and is big plotter of her grand ideas. :) While she has a big heart, I feel like her regret after making a wrong choice is more for the consequence than the behavior, and I'm at a loss for how to stop this!
I think there has to be consequences for bad behavior, however when it becomes all about the consequences (or rewards), we have problems.
Tonight my darling girl said something quite rude to me. I told her it hurt my feelings. She said she was sorry but didn't seem bothered by it. Now since we have been working on this, I decided to take it a little further...I asked how she would feel if I said that to her. She explained I would NEVER say that to her and it was against the rules cause I am the mommy. I went on and told her it was against our family rules too. I went the route of "Do you think God would be pleased with the words you said to me? Was that honoring your mom?" She said no. None of this really got to her, so finally I said, "Honey, I know that you are sorry, but sometimes we can't take back hurtful words. That really hurt me and I don't really like to be around someone who hurts my feelings. So I think tonight you need to read to yourself instead of me reading, and I want you to think about your words carefully." Then the world was over and her heart was breaking. "MOMMY I am SO sorry!"
Perhaps this route was a little harsh, but I feel that we are at a real breaking point here of needing more compassion and empathy. I didn't read to her and she was a sad little girl. She wrote in her journal that she did not mean what she said and that she was sorry she said that to her mommy because she loves me. I feel like that was true remorse, but not sure if it happened because of the consequence or true regret. In any case, I think it was a step in the right direction. And don't worry, I reassured her that I forgive her and that I love her, but also told her again that our words can really hurt people. And that though we can be sorry and be forgiven, we can't take back those words.
What about you? How do you encourage true remorse in your child?
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