Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Wow, it's been awhile!

It's been quite a while since I wrote on this blog...

Today my oldest started school.  The past couple of days as we have prepared for Kindergarten, I have had many thoughts going through my head.  There are two that I struggle with.  The first is wondering if she will be treasured.  Will they see the precious little girl that I see?  Will they love her like I love her?  Will they value her insights and opinions?  And let's be honest...doesn't every parent wonder and worry over this?  Some more than others, of course.  I don't want to be one of those extreme cases...the hovering mom, the one that the teachers roll their eyes at.  But I also can sympathize with all of those "annoying" parents.  That's how I feel too!  I believe a good teacher treasures each child...loves them for who they are.  However I know (because I've been there!) that it's awfully hard to do that when class sizes are big, time is scarce, and pressures abound.

The second is I don't want her to lose her innocence.  I realize that as kids grow up, it is a blessing when they are exposed to different backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs. But when that happens too fast, it can have devastating results.  I want to be the one to *explain* some things to her and there are definitely things that I will be fine with her learning about in third grade, but not Kindergarten.  I don't want her to have to learn hard lessons...but I know that's part of growing up.  There are also little things I don't want her to lose.  The way she says some words that is just so HER but not necessarily the right way to say them, the way she makes up her own words sometimes, the way she lives in pretend world 90 percent of the time.  I know those things will probably change this year too.  But I hope they don't go away completely. 

Letting go is hard.  But I don't know how I'd do it if I didn't have the security of knowing that God is with her.  Because while I do "let her go" and she stays in Kindergarten without me, I know she's not staying there alone.  I've told her at any time during the day if she is scared or lonely, she knows God is with her and she can say a prayer.  And I know that I can give her the best thing I can give her by praying for her. 

So...if you are reading as one of those moms (or dads) that is "letting go" some this season...you aren't alone!  There are lots of us having to let go.  And there is One that never lets go...

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