My husband saw me reading "A Place of Quiet Rest" and said "What's that? A place of quiet rest?" My immediate response was from the old hymn, "There is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God." I hadn't read that in this book but immediately it clicked...that's what this idea of quiet time is all about. Getting near to the heart of God.
For years I have felt guilt over not having enough quiet time with God, not having ANY quiet time with God, or not even thinking it was THAT important. In college my excuses were way too busy with classes (I didn't even know what busy was but I sure thought I did!), or I did it when I prepared for Bible Study this week! In early marriage my excuses were working a new job or being tired. I was better about it then than in college, but mainly my quiet times were held out of guilt. After having kids...well that's the perfect excuse for EVERYTHING, right! :) But I found myself being more anxious for my quiet times. Actually looking forward to the quiet :), being able to take my worries to God, and to be restored by Him.
The past few months my thinking has been really challenged on this subject through many sources, but a big one is this book "A Place of Quiet Rest".
"Wherever God finds you, if you are His child, I believe there is within you something that will never be satisfied with anything less than intimate fellowship with your Creator, Redeemer, and Heavenly Father. Until you see Him face to face, you will never cease to hunger and thirst to know Him more. I know that longing deep within my own soul."
These are Demoss' words...but man, they ring true here too. No matter how much I know ABOUT God, I long to KNOW God. I long to have fellowship with Him, and I long to communicate with Him day after day. And at the times in my life when I have had this, when I go to Him honestly and openly, He never fails to restore my soul. No, he doesn't always fix my problems. :) Sometimes God calms the storm and sometimes God calms His child. He restores my soul.
So our quiet times can come to a place where they aren't done so much out of duty...but out of desire for that time with God. I'm not there yet. Oh man, I am SO not there yet. :) There are mornings when I do not make it to my Bible and think, I'm just going to have to get there during nap time. But I feel like I'm on a journey to get there.
I want my children to see their Mom in the word and think...that's how I've got to start my day. I want them to see me enjoying my time alone with God. And I want God to restore me so that I am the best wife, mom, friend, etc that I can be throughout the day.
Selfish, yes. Those are all things I want to gain. I only hope that in the process my communion with God will bless Him too. But you know what? I think it will. :)
"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in his temple."
Psalm 27: 4